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September 27, 2005
Question: i'm 18 and the guy i am seeing is 38 and has parkinsons and i'm scared but i do love him what should i do?
ANSWER: Get out of that relationship faster than you can run.
Wizard
September 22, 2005
Question: he never calls me and i feel like im the only one putting in the effort in our relationship...if thats what it is. we've been together for nearly 3 months, and i thought by now he would have been able to take initiative but its still me. i feel like our relationship is one-sided. at the beginning of our relationship he would try, but now its like he doesnt care. im so confused. i message him just to say hi, but he never replies to my messages or he says that his phone is stuffed...i know these are bad signs.
ANSWER: Right you are. You’re ready for a new and better boyfriend.
Wizard
September 13, 2005
Question: I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I have lost the passion for him I once had but we are still very happy. Should I let go because everyone deserves passion in their relationships, or should I hang on because I wont be able to find a guy who cherishes me the way he does? Will I always have to sacrifice one aspect of a good relationship for another?
ANSWER: Don’t think of it as a sacrifice. It is a compromise. You keep a boyfriend with a B characteristic because he has an A characteristic. You value the A characteristic so much that he is still worth your time and attention, with the B characteristic still there. One characteristic doesn’t depend on another – it just exists in good quantity and quality or it doesn’t.
Some people uncompromisingly must have it all – the passion; the happiness; the companionship in young and old age; the good faith, trust and loyalty; and the aid and comfort – for life! It is possible. It happens. But rarely.
So the wizard cannot predict your fate in love. But remember these points: 1. In the event you are so lucky to have it all, none of it is constant, and none of it comes without work. 2. Most people, happy for the rest of their lives, married, value the other person for all the good in that person, knowing and accepting that perfection does not exist in humankind. They love their companion for the good and find the bad tolerable. 3. Though it is true that some characteristics improve during marriage, and some bad characteristics go away, and the opposite is also true, do not enter a marriage intending to change the other person to the way you want him or her. It more than likely will not work.
You need to decide whether you are ready to make a compromise. If you are, you should be well aware of what you are compromising. Some choose not to compromise passion in a relationship – knowing that passion cannot be constant, and in time will change in its character.
So now to each question without the fuss: 1. Should I let go because everyone deserves passion in their relationships, or should I hang on because I wont be able to find a guy who cherishes me the way he does? Not everyone deserves passion. But those who love passionately should not compromise on passion. No, you should never hang on for fear that you will not find a guy who cherishes you the way he does. 2. Will I always have to sacrifice one aspect of a good relationship for another? No. But you might need to make practical choices and compromises.
One wizard’s wort (wise old rules of thumb) is: Compromise only where you are weak and least able to give. Therefore, if you are passionate and able to give passion in a relationship, you should not compromise passion. You should find one who is passionate and able to give and return to you the same quality of passion.
Wizard
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