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October 28, 2008
Question: When I met him he had a number of other girlfriends and one was still hanging on until now. He has just gone to see her and during that time he was distant with me. He tells me nothing happened but I have doubts. This is a long-distance relationship and I am due to visit him in 2 weeks. Should I dump him?
ANSWER: As has been said many times, long distance relationships are difficult to maintain and that is especially true when the guy has another girlfriend nearby. Regardless of the other girl (or girls?), you are likely to notice him being distant with you more and more often because the maintenance of a long-term relationship from a distance requires more and more effort over time. Finding a guy from your area who dates only you is more manageable and satisfying.
Wiz
October 27, 2008
Question: I like this guy’s personality but he has bad teeth and he doesn’t look good at all. But his personality is cute. Oh yeah, he also plays too much.
ANSWER: Personalities cannot be fixed. Teeth can be. Playing too much, well . . . . He needs to fix his teeth. As for his looks, that is a matter of opinion, isn’t it? Any way, your opinion is what counts. You are entitled to it and you should act upon it.
Wiz
October 24, 2008
Question: You have not updated your web page in the past month. I sent in a question and was wondering if you were going to answer.
ANSWER: All questions will be read and most will be answered. See the answer to the October 9, 2008 question: “Do you ever check these?” for an explanation of the recent delays, all deeply regretted by the wiz.
Sometimes the wiz posts information in the NEWS and COMMENTARY section of this site. At various times you will find answers to your concerns there. The recent delay was so long the answer to your question and the question on October 9 are given prominent display here.
Wiz
October 24, 2008
Question: Hi, please can you help me? I have a boyfriend who adores me but I don’t like him any more. But I can’t dump him because my mum and his mum are best friends. And it’s my birthday on Tuesday and he has brought me lots of stuff and he said to his mum, “I don’t know what I will ever do if she dumps me!!! Please help me ?
ANSWER: Dump him. In the dating world, you are in command of your destiny. Your mums will stay best friends, regardless.
As for the boyfriend, his quote is just a way of saying he adores you. Nothing more. He knows what to do – and if he doesn’t, he’ll figure it out.
Control your dating life. Dump him. If you don’t like your boyfriend any more, that is all you need to know in making your decision. Nothing else matters.
Wiz
October 22, 2008
Question: I dated this guy for a week and he was a virgin. I was his first girlfriend ever. I broke up with him then a day later. I decided I made a horrible mistake because he was a nice guy, and so sweet.
He said I hurt him and I wasn't too sure, so we decided to be friends and get to know each other first and take things slow. That night I ended up de-virginizing him and then having sex with him the next day. That same night he made out with a girl and I was pissed. But we didn't say we were back together or anything.
The next day he just wanted to be friends and take things slow, get to know each other. Well, we don’t talk any more and it’s been a week since I've talked to him. I want to call him because I care about him. I just don’t understand and I am wondering what he is thinking. I don’t know what to do!!!!
ANSWER: Don’t fuss over him. He isn’t fussing over you.
If you want to talk to him and see how he is doing, that is fine if he responds. If he doesn’t, he was never committed to you.
Losing one’s virginity is not a season ticket. It’s a one-time romp. It has little meaning (that is, valuable to a relationship) unless the two have already become committed to each other in a meaningful way.
Wiz
October 21, 2008
Question: We never talk and when we do it is really awkward and forced. We have been going out for a month and have hugged 4 times. And he is a snitch at school. Should I dump him?
ANSWER: You should be able to talk at least by the second date. A hug is a warm, friendly thing – but a date deserves better. Oooh, and snitch, too.
Dump him.
Wiz
October 17, 2008
Question: Met my boyfriend on match.com 7 months ago. He told me he was in love with me 3 weeks after we met. I am having problems with his internet trawling daily on match.com. He says he "is bored." Why window shop when you already have the goods?
Please give advice.
ANSWER: Good question. The answer is that his goods are used.
Sounds awful and it might be awful. When a guy has been driving a 2000 Audi, he finds it fun in 2008 to stop at the dealership to look at new Audi’s. He imagines how nice it would be to have a new one with all its new features. He loves his old car but he knows it will eventually need replacement.
Telling you that he is bored is insensitive because it suggests he is bored with you. Worse, he might have been rudely honest. For some guys, seven months into a relationship is a long time. If he is one of them, you are like the 2000 Audi.
Wiz
October 15, 2008
Question: I have been talking to this guy for 4 months and he took my virginity. And after time he was acting weird towards me, like if I called he would not answer. Sometimes he would answer and the other day I told him a piece of my mind and he didn’t like what I had to say to him. He said that I was starting to annoy him. What should I do?
ANSWER: You have learned the important lesson that you must be cautious about sex. This guy took your virginity and your dignity with it. He got what he wanted. Now he doesn’t need you any more.
If the wiz is wrong about him, hooray for that! But, the wiz is probably right.
So what you do is you stand up and find a guy who cares about you for who you are (a wonderful, worthy, caring, and important human being) and not for your sexual vulnerability.
Wiz
October 15, 2008
Question: My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. Recently we have been fighting a lot. But I don’t know how to break it off because we have been together for so long. I want to move on but he says he doesn’t. Shat should I do without breaking his heart.
ANSWER: Fortunately, you understand that a boyfriend does not have veto power. If you want to break it off, you break it off. Period. No doubt he would want it that way if he decided to break it off.
If he is into you deeply, as he might be after three years, you will not be able to avoid breaking his heart. That is the sad, sometimes tragic, side of dating. As roots grow deeper, they get harder to pull out of the ground. Some will break.
The best you can do is clearly state your intentions with him so he doesn’t think you will reconsider. Don’t criticize him or tell him what was wrong with him to cause you to break it off. Sometimes there is nothing wrong with the guy; it is just that things are not going like they should. But don’t even tell him that. Put the reason entirely on yourself. For example, “I’ve decided this is best for me. You are wonderful and I really like you, but I need to go another direction. It is all me, not you.” That is just an example. You can phrase this many other ways. Keep it short, simple, and clear. Don’t do anything later that gives him new hope. He must know it is thoroughly and unquestionably over. If you succeed that far, he will recover quicker and the breakup will be healthier for everyone.
Wiz
October 15, 2008
Question: My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a little less than a year. I do believe he loves me as I do, but lately he has been saying than he cannot see me as often anymore. I just don't feel right only seeing him twice a week. Should I dump him? I just don't feel like he is putting in enough and for us to see each other less doesn't work for me. What does the wizard think I should do?
ANSWER: Did he say why he cannot see you as often any more? If he can’t say why, he doesn’t want to say why. If the reason is obviously made up, he doesn’t want to say why. If either of these are true, the real reason is that he doesn’t feel the same way about you any more and doesn’t know how to dump you.
If he gives a good and true reason, you will decide whether you are willing to accommodate him. If you aren’t, you will dump him. If you are, you will do that until it becomes too unsatisfying for you, and you’ll dump him then.
Wiz
October 13, 2008
Question: Hey, so I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months now. At this point I would say there is no point in this relationship. We barely talk. When we do it’s usually texts and he’s real different. He’s not like he used to be. I guess I’m so stuck with the idea that he will change back to the way he used to be, caring, funny, really into me. I’m so sick of hearing stuff like he’s been cheating. When I ask him, he like turns it around on me. So many people have told me to dump him, but I think I’m just in love with the idea of what I thought he was? If that makes any sense. Please just give me some advice. Thanks, the broken hearted.
ANSWER: It does make sense – a lot of sense. Your instincts are working well. Take the question mark out of your sentence and end it with a period. Then end your relationship with this guy, period.
You’ll find another guy who is caring, funny, and really into you.
Wiz
October 13, 2008
Question: I’ve been going our with this guy for nearly 3 months now. When I first agreed to meet up with him I think he was way more interested in me. I wasn’t sure if I liked him because he did come on quite strong. But we met up a few times and then two weeks later when we were texting he asked me out. It all was going really well and we both started to get really strong feelings for each other. He used to always ask to see me and text me all the time. He used to always say really sweet things to me about how much I meant to him, etc (in person) . . . and I would say nice things back. We get on really well together and I couldn’t see how things could ever go wrong. My friends have met him and they like him. He likes my friends, my parents like him, etc. But I haven’t met his friends yet but am going to soon, and that’s the same with his parents. Most of all I really love him, and he says he loves me too.
But now ever since we went on this date last week I haven’t seen him and it’s been a week and one day now. And now that it’s school again I won’t be able to see him much because I have exams. I told him this during the last week of the holidays but he kept saying I’m working or I’m too busy or my parents won’t let me and sometimes he wouldn’t text me back at all so that the plans we had made no longer worked for me because it was too late. On Sunday (last day I could see him) he said his parents wouldn’t let him come over or something??
I’ve started to get really annoyed when he doesn’t bother texting me back and at the moment I feel as though he’s totally over me and doesn’t really care anymore. I’ve cried a few times even. And I keep picking fights with him and getting angry (through text). But I haven’t really explained to him all this because I might be making a big deal out of nothing and I’m confused. I don’t know whether to trust him that he actually couldn’t see me (which he keeps reassuring me) or he couldn’t be bothered which he suggests when he doesn’t text back or talk to me. Last night in a text he said "I’m thinking about you, how you get so angry when I don’t text back I lol ahah love u" and I got really angry about that for some reason. It’s as though he takes my feelings for granted because that night he hadn’t been texting back. And this morning I text him, no reply. So I said about 5 hours later, "omg that’s it **** you bro I can do better than this later!" Still no reply or anything. What if he’s busy?? I know he’s not at school today though. Now I feel like I’m losing trust in him and I really don’t know what to believe. It really upsets me :( I really love him and he still says he "loves me"? Should I dump him?
ANSWER: A huge disconnect exists here and it is not only communication. You don’t need to dump him; all you need to do is stop bothering him. It appears that he does not share your wish to communicate and share friends and family. He does not take you as seriously as you have taken him.
If you stop communicating, and if he is interested in you, he will initiate a new communication with you that will mean more. If he does, do not fall head over heels for him too quickly. You may be in for more of the same thing.
Wiz
October 11, 2008
Question: Ok, I have been with this guy for almost 4 years. We have one beautiful little girl, but even after all we've been through I just don't think I love him. It took about 8 months for me to come to this conclusion, but I just can't stop thinking that I don't love him. Our personalities just don't blend like I thought, and the "love" I once had for him isn't there anymore. I don't know how to get it through to him so I wont hurt the child in all this.
ANSWER: You are right to keep the child’s interest in mind. If he loves the child as much as you do, he will also want to keep the child’s interest in mind. This may be a good way to start the conversation ending the “romantic” part of your relationship.
Tell him you know that he loves your child just as you do, and you don’t want to change any of that with what you are about to say. Tell him that whatever happens, you want to be sure that your child enjoys a loving relationship with both of you for the rest of her life.
Then tell him frankly, but in friendly terms, that you have been doubting the love between him and you for at least eight months. Tell him this concerns you because you know he loves your child and you don’t want to do anything to affect that, but you don’t think you can continue to pretend that the love you feel for him is the kind that lasts a lifetime.
Approached this way, you may find he will respond with the same kind of feeling. If that happens, you can work together to establish a loving relationship for both of you with your child, while freeing up each other to live happy and productive lives without feeling tied or otherwise bound to each other. If he feels hurt or jilted, give him time to figure it out. Eventually, if he is without some kind of serious mental disorder, he will figure it out and find a way to work with you.
Wiz
October 10, 2008
Question: This little thing is a bit twisted, so please be patient with me here. I am involved with a narcissist. I use this label in a VERY serious way. I’m no trained professional, but I have been in the "situation" for almost 2 years and I really think I have nailed him on the head. It doesn’t make sense to friends or anyone around me because most people would have just turned their back. They say they don’t care how smart he is. He would have been gone and I am more beautiful and smarter and could date whomever I wanted. I do date sometimes, but haven’t found anyone yet that excites me and I am very dedicated to my work.
This guy is a superior at my work and very respected. He could demolish my career. He says he isn’t opposed to seeing me out of work, but never asks me out. I asked him once and he didn’t go. He does go with me to lunch (we split even though he makes twice my money). The last time we went out it was a 4 hour lunch and the waiter said, "Are you all a famous couple or what?" We just look like we belong together.
Most times it's crazy good because we laugh, flirt, and have great talks. I can chat with this guy all night on the phone. Initially I was attracted because of his looks and he offered me a welcomed challenge. I don’t have sex with people unless its very serious and I also liked that he didn't try to get under my skirt every time we got together.
We do some very sexual flirting (text and on the phone), but we’ve never even kissed. I think he gets off on the tease which makes him a cerebral. When I ignore, he blows up the phones and haunts me by not completing my work tasks, tasks that must be done for me to perform well at what I do. And exposing his performance would mean exposing myself and probably whatever I have ever put in writing.
He will butter-up to me if he thinks I am mad, acts sweet, and if I follow his "hidden" rules I get no slack. He calls at least four days a week. At times I thought it was just typical game playing, or he was gay, or had a girlfriend. But now I am starting (yes, I get the idiot award for being a sucker) to put two and two together and I know something isn't right. I am convinced there is no girlfriend or any other "normal guy" reasoning except I offer him narcissistic supply.
Now that I have figured out what I am dealing with, I know it just isn’t going to happen. He bores me, digs into my personal life (even though he has no right), is bossy, makes me ookie and I see no happy future with him. I roll my eyes with a kind of dread every time the phone rings. But I know I'm still attached because I long to talk to him or see him. The weekends suck for me. I think that's because he is crafty at sucking me in. I wonder who he is with and if he is with someone why she gets to be with him and not me. But I know it's not right for me and I have to get rid of him. Everything I read says NO contact with this type of guy. Well that tactic just isn't going to work on this one because of my cherished job! I can’t quit or switch jobs because I have invested my life to get where I am and still want to move up.
My friend told me you gave her good advice and I have read some of the other responses, but couldn't find a situation quite as crazy as this one. Please offer some advice on how to get out of this thing and leave with my dignity, my job, and my heart.
ANSWER: If you are sure you have nailed him on the head (ouch!), and are sure you want to be rid of him, take the following advice as a means to succeed with all three of your goals – keeping your dignity, your job, and your heart.
Your dignity is not lost if you simply ignore him. It is a dignified way to end a relationship – or a situation that is uncomfortable. You worry that if you ignore him you might lose your job. He already sabotages your work when you ignore him. Resolve this by telling him (maybe more than once is necessary) this: “I have decided I want to keep our relationship businesslike. I will be dating another guy and can’t complicate my life any more. I know we have not dated, but we need to stop going on long lunches.” If business is a priority in his life, he will accept the premise that business will take a priority in your relationship with him. If he is half a human being, he will respect your position that a love life will exist with someone else outside of the workplace. These are basic work-related rules and you need to re-establish them. This is how to remain dedicated to your work and keep your dignity.
If he does not accept the steps you take to follow this advice, he is more than a narcissist. More likely he is an arrogant, controlling predator, and a dangerous character to have to work with as a superior at your workplace. If this is true, you are in a much more problematic situation than your question suggests.
Finally, there remains the issue of keeping your heart. You will lose the desire to hear from him, and to engage with him socially, if you find another guy. You haven’t found a guy who excites you and this will cause you to yearn more for the guy you are trying to rid from your life. You must engage more socially outside of the workplace. Find events to attend and places to go where you will increase your chance of running into someone with whom you can establish a social, dating relationship. If you persist you will likely find a guy who satisfies your romantic needs sufficiently to dispel the feelings that currently nag you at work. This is the only good way to keep your heart pumping at a normal, happy pace.
Wiz
October 10, 2008
Question: Okay, this guy is just my friend and he asked me to the Halloween dance. He isn't great looking but I agreed that it was a choice that I wouldn't regret . . . until my friend made me realize that the guy who thought that I was hot (well both actually) were still free! I should dump him . . . that's what I think. He's not worth the first school dance . . . no offence!
I could get a reasonable match . . . help me please!!!! This sucks and the dance is in a week! I have to write a letter! He's just a far friend! Thanks.
ANSWER: Can’t help ya find a reasonable match. But go for it. And if you don’t succeed, just be sure your date is wearing a mask. Then you won’t have to kiss him or look at him.
Wiz
October 10, 2008
Question: My boyfriend does not appreciate me. He commands me anyhow and does not listen to me or pay attention to my own side of view. I feel like a hostage in the relationship. Should i dump him or is there anyway to make him change?
ANSWER: If your boyfriend does not appreciate you, he does not respect you. If, in addition to that, you feel like a hostage in the relationship, the clear answer to your question is dump him.
Do not enter a relationship with a guy you must change. That generally does not work. Date guys you don’twant to change.
Wiz
October 9, 2008
Question: Do you ever check these?
ANSWER: Yes, most definitely. Every question is read. Sometimes the wiz gets caught up in the turmoil of the world and cannot gain access to questions as quickly as one wants. Usually the wiz can answer questions within four days at the latest. In September and October, the world order crumbled around the wiz and required the wiz’s intense and uninterrupted attention. Fortunately for people near the wiz, the wiz performed impeccably and all is well.
The wiz’s work occasionally requires “dirty” business. When this happens, the emotions, risks, and stakes are at high level for ordinary people, and the wiz responds accordingly.
Thank you for your patience. The wiz is back and catching up.
Wiz
October 9, 2008
Question: He's too clingy and overly sensitive and he has a temper and blames me for everything, even if he did it.
ANSWER: Clingy means he sticks to you like fly paper. Overly sensitive means he gets upset over things that mean nothing. A temper means when he gets upset he also gets angry and acts out. Blames me for everything, even if he did it, means he thinks he is never wrong and accuses someone else (especially his girlfriend) for all that goes wrong.
Four good reasons for a dump.
Wiz
October 8, 2008
Question: He doesn’t invite me to stay over after sex. I met him because he called me off my ad online (I am a part-time escort ). I didn’t have sex with him the first time I saw him. He didn’t have enough cash. I got him off though (besides the point) but when we finally had sex it wasn't for money and it was the best I've ever had. So I’m hooked. I love it. He doesn’t respect me? Does he? Or even care? Nice and all . . . but is that all he wanted? Is there anything I can do to try to get him to like me? Tips please.
ANSWER: If he doesn’t respect you, it may be because of your employment as an escort who engages in sex for money. You can contact him directly and ask him out. If he accepts, try a date without sex. If he enjoys you as a person without sex, he might enjoy you more with sex for all the right reasons.
Wiz
October 7, 2008
Question: Help me. I've been going out with someone for two years and I haven’t kissed him and he called me stupid. Should I dump him or not, since someone else likes me.
ANSWER: Two years without a kiss is like a trek through the Sahara without water! Any way, you must not have liked him enough. Maybe his lips were as dry as the Sahara.
If someone else likes you, go for it.
Wiz
October 6, 2008
Question: Should I stay? I'm a 40ish female involved with a 29 year old male. We see each other only approximately one time a week have a great time and it usually leads to sex. I talk to him daily online. I am getting attached and would like to see more of him. When I suggest us getting together more he says he has to work or see his parents, friends, etc.
ANSWER: When you see each other once a week, do you go to public places? If he avoids going to public places with you, he is sensitive about the age difference and must overcome it. If he doesn’t, do not stay in the relationship, unless you like the suspence of a secret relationship.
Wiz
October 6, 2008
Question: There's this guy I'm dating and he's really sweet and all. We've dated for about a month total and he's really not my cup of tea. We broke up for a whole 3 days, 2 weeks into our relationship. He was really mad and depressed during that time and I felt like it was my fault. He bugged me about getting back together on Myspace, and even talked to my friend behind my back. When we got back together he made me promise not to dump him. Our relationship is taking a toll on my emotions. How do I get him to dump ME? Hopeless And Confused
ANSWER: NEVER promise a guy you will not dump him. Are you getting married? Do you wish to be tied to a guy like a dog on a leash? Are you his life-long servant, to be flaunted as his beautiful girl and at the same time trodden upon like a full-time housemaid? Do you have no respect for the most important person in your life, you?
NEVER allow yourself to feel a dump was your fault. It is normal to like a guy enough to date and then to decide he is not your cup of tea. If a guy gets mad and depressed, it is his fault, not yours. If he is so hung up that he can’t take it, NEVER let him take it out on you later.
NEVER wait for a guy to dump you if you want out of the relationship. You dump him.
Someone wise once said, "Never say never." In this answer are four "nevers" you must always say.
Your promise not to dump him is meaningless. Dump him immediately and move on. Tell him to leave you alone and bother someone else. You have every right and responsibility to yourself to dump him.
Wiz
October 4, 2008
Question: Hello. Um. So Cam and I went out for about three days even though I really liked him. I have commitment issues. He was really depressed the next day, but then he was better. So for the next two weeks we kind of acted like we were still going out. We were really nice and flirted and all. Then one day he tells me he wants to move on. I still liked him most of the time. So I said okay, but didn’t give it another thought. I wasn’t ready to let go. Then a couple days later my friend Gerty tells me she likes him, that she’s liked him for a week, and she told him on Thursday, that day that he told me he wanted to move on. I automatically acted happy because I started pretending everything is fine when I’m shocked. I was lying to myself and saying it’s fine, and I even told Cam that it was ok if he wanted to ask her out. So the next day, of course, he asks her out. But she needed to think about something, so she hadn’t said yes yet. So through the past week I’ve been sort of battling my feelings, and telling them it’s okay, and all of my friends were so proud of me for acting so cool. So that helped me. And this whole week I’m pretty sure I didn’t like him, and I had started liking him again yesterday. I just didn’t know what to do, because I’m trying to not be mad, since it’s not really their fault for their feelings. I mean, I told Gerty a lot about mine and Cam's problems, and our relationship, so she must have known I still liked him. When I asked her, she said she didn’t know, but even if that’s true, she knew we had history that was very recent, and she didn’t even come to me. And I felt so hurt and unwanted. And I’m still trying to play the cool, classy girl who he would regret giving up. And it’s usually so easy to make guys jealous, so I was doing that, but I have no idea whether it worked or not. Any advice on what to do would be great.
ANSWER: You are the cool, classy girl who he would regret giving up. Gerty will break up with him too, soon enough, and another girl will date him. Cam wanted you, and your friends want you, and other guys will want you.
You are right that you should not feel mad because they can’t be blamed for their feelings.
For every guy you want to date, three or four more you would date if you could. Be patient with yourself. You will find another guy and life will carry on – and you will still be the cool, classy girl.
Guys are not objects to be possessed. When you become attracted to a guy, it may be a fleeting moment, a warm and sensitive walk in the park, a passionate love affair, or a life-long embrace of love and companionship. Every guy is a possibility. The nature of the attraction becomes evident soon enough.
For some the dating world is a roller coaster; for others it is flat and straight like a desert highway. Feeling hurt and unwanted is a momentary loop in your roller coaster.
Wiz
October 4, 2008
Question: Well me and my boyfriend have been going out for a bit less then a month now, and I've just had enough of the relationship because he is really immature and clingy. However he is also sweet.
Anyways lately I've been trying to figure out what to do because even though I've been thinking of dumping him, I have been sort of leading him on, making him think that I like him as much as he likes me...
And so how do I dump him without him and his friends getting so angry at me for leading him on?
Or should I just wait? And not dump him anytime soon?
By the way, we are just teenagers so keep that in mind =]
ANSWER: Do not lead him on and drag out the relationship more than it is worth. He is not so committed, given your age and the length of your relationship, that he won’t recover. Tell him you like him but not enough to date any more.
By leading him on you are giving him hope. So long as he has hope he will cling to you. You need to discourage him. You do that by not calling him, not texting him, and treating him like any other guy you don’t date. Stay distant and unresponsive. He will get the message and will find another girl to be interested in.
Wiz
October 1, 2008
Question: How can I determine if my boyfriend is already cheating on me or he is really just that busy? And what should I do to avoid craving for him that much and instead make him crave for my attention?
ANSWER: If he is cheating on you, you will find out eventually. That kind of thing can’t go on for too long before he is found out. If you are doubting his good faith, that is a bad sign for the relationship. If all is well in your relationship, you should have no doubt about his good faith.
Be yourself. You are good enough to attract him if you are the right person for him. You do not need to change your personality or alter your behavior. If someone causes him to be less interested in you, the match isn’t right. Simple as that.
You can play all kinds of games to attract him. For instance, you can pretend to like someone else in his presence to make him feel more possessive about you. These games, though, are more destructive than they are constructive. Most games are built on deceit and play-acting.
Your best answer is to be yourself and take pride in who and what you are. If he doesn’t like you enough – his loss. If you want to like him less, find another guy you like more. This is not deceitful and it is not play-acting. This is acting on your own good qualities and desires, without worrying too much about what someone else thinks.
Wiz
October 1, 2008
Question: I've been with my boyfriend for 3years. However I have just started university and lately it just doesn't feel the same with him, as I have begun to have feelings for another guy. He seems a lovely guy but I'm not sure whether he's just leading me on or if he does really like me. Should I finish with my boyfriend because of this or not . . . .
ANSWER: You won’t know if he is leading you on until you send him a hint (or something better) to give him the idea you like him. If he really likes you, and you remain interested, go for it. If all goes well enough for you to know your boyfriend is no longer your first interest, end that relationship.
Wiz
October 1, 2008
Question: Hi there. I met this guy about 2 years ago and we had a relationship going on. I fell pregnant (two times) and had miscarriages (both times). He was actually treating me badly after the second baby. I was in denial and convincing myself that everything is okay and still believed we could work things out. As time went on I realized I was being played but still I hung on. Eventually he left me (very ugly) and I had to move on. I met someone else. We were happy and then I found out X was seeing my friend and they were together while we (I) were still trying to work things out. I'm not friends with my "friend" anymore and the X, well, I still greet him when I see him. Now the thing is X has a brother and while all this drama was happening he was always there to comfort me. He would always call me or just come and hang out with me, send me mails, and stuff like that. We are kind of close. And he would always say I'm better off without them (my friends and my X). Now my main concern is on Saturday I was at home and my X's brother popped in to say hi and before I knew what was happening we kissed. It was like sooo passionate. I don’t know what to do at the moment. Should I wait and see or should I ignore everything. I have my eye on someone whom I really, really like, and I don’t want anything to come between my "almost boyfriend." What should I do?? What if this could lead to somewhere or what if this could take my chance of happiness (with almost boyfriend) away??? Help please!!!
ANSWER: If you really, really like someone, go after him. It would be good for you to be with a good guy who is not connected in any way with the X.
The brother is . . . a brother. He is too close to the guy you with whom you experienced so much drama. A passionate kiss is not the key to a great relationship.
Stay friends with the brother and date the guy you really, really like.
Wiz
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