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November 29, 2007
Question: My new boyfriend told me how he'd love to cuddle my twin brother and I at the same time. I think that's suspicious. Should I dump
him, or am I just over-reacting?
ANSWER: For most people, “cuddle” is a non-sexual, affectionate word. You cuddle, for instance, a teddy bear because it’s
soft and cute, not because it excites you.
Without knowing the context in which this was said and the ages of the people involved, one would think this was harmless. However, if it
was said privately to you with a real intent to engage in physical contact with you and your twin brother, more than a friendly fondness, but
suggesting a lasting physical contact, or anything sexual, then it is wrong and potentially dangerous.
You are in the best place to weigh the meaning intended. If you are unsure, you may know things not said here that leaves you in doubt, and
in that case you are not over-reacting and a dump would be appropriate.
Wizard
November 29, 2007
Question: Dear Wizard, I’m 26 years old, female. Been dating with this 23 years of guy. (3 years younger than me). We had a great
time, first kiss wasn’t so bad. We had sex when we dated for 1 month. We take things very slowly. He asked me to become his girlfriend. But
then I told him let keep things between the two of us. And take things slowly. The thing is I just dumped my previous boyfriend because I
wasn’t ready for marriage. But I do want to get married soon. My current boyfriend knows about my past experience. That is why he
understands why I want to take things slowly. Quoted from him, "Let’s not talk about marriage, because i don’t want to freak you
out." However, at the same time he said he wasn’t ready for marriage too. And he broke up with his ex girlfriend because he
wasn’t ready to commit (meaning marriage). Am I wasting my time with him now? But he is really into me (he meets the 'into me 'requirements
such as calling me all the time, every day, lunch and dinner). We are not sex buddies (we’ve been together for 1.5 months and had sex only
twice). What do you think? Should I give it a try, or will I only be wasting my time just like his previous girlfriend? Help me! Thank you!
ANSWER: Don’t plan your relationship based on his past experience, in the same way he shouldn’t plan his relationship with you
based on your past experience.
The two of you might be made for each other. Who knows? Until you’ve played it out, you will not know. That much is for sure. Give it
a try.
Wizard
November 29, 2007
Question: Okay, so I'm new to this dating scene. I found a guy at a bar (I know, classy, huh?). Any ways, we laid down some funky moves on
the dance floor, and I was sort of feeling him. We kissed a little and exchanged numbers. So I went out on another date with him and I just don't
feel a connection. Which I don't even know if there is supposed to be a connection right away, but after a couple hours we kind of just grew
silent. We weren't really "flowing." I could tell he was really in to me but I'm not so into him. I think we are just too different.
Any ways, my long drawn out question is how do I break up with him? Or do you think I need to give him another chance and more time to get to
know him?
ANSWER: No, you don’t have to give him more time. Your gut feeling is usually pretty good, especially in short-term dating like this.
Find the next guy who turns you on and see if the sparks that fly go out so quick. You could be in for a good surprise. But please remember, be
picky (at least a little), don’t compromise on good principles, have lots of fun, and be safe, safe, safe in all that you do.
[Safe about drugs and alcohol, safe about sex, and safe about the guy you date.]
As to how to break up after only two dates, just don’t call him. If he calls, tell him you liked him but you’ve started a new
relationship. Don’t let it be a long conversation.
Wizard
November 29, 2007
Question: I met this guy about 3-4 months ago and we started dating shortly after. Three weeks after that I went on vacation for a month (a
vacation I had planned before we met). We communicated occasionally by phone. When I came back from vacation he seemed to be sending me mixed
signals. He is very polite and respectful. However, he would rarely call me and sometimes he wouldn't return my calls. I was accepting of this
because I know he works long hours (sometimes 12hr days) and he's occasionally too tired to call or it's too late. Either way, after 2 calls not
returned I decided I wasn't going to call him anymore. 6 weeks passed and I figured he just wasn't interested and didn't know how to tell me.
After 6 weeks he calls me out of the blue and begins talking to me like we've spoke the day before. He says he wanted to see me. When I asked why
he waited so long to call, he said he was really busy and he has a bad habit of not calling people for long periods of time. He said he's used to
people calling him.
ANSWER: He’ll expect you to be at his beck and call whenever he wants you; he’ll depend on you to take the initiative; and
he’ll be horrible when he loses interest in you.
He’s off to a bad start. He tendered a lame excuse, so lame he should be embarrassed.
If he was truthful, his ego is too big. He’s used to people calling him? Only a God gets away with that excuse.
Think carefully before dating this guy.
Wizard
November 28, 2007
Question: dear wizard, i broke up with my boyfriend after 10 months because he started to be controlling and very possessive. now the break
up for me was extremely hard because it was both of our first long-term relationship and we both loved each other very much. but he NEEDED to
change. so he went on for about 2 weeks trying to get me back when finally i saw that he changed. so i basically told him i was ready, and the
next day he tells me he just wants 2 be friends!?! it threw me into complete shock. and he said he realized he had "options" and he
liked them. Well, wizard, he told me to trust him. we'll be happy and yada yada, and when i finally do he pulls this crap? i don’t get it?
i throw my heart back into the relationship and he turns it around to his decision on whether we be together or not? and he chose no. and now i
believe he's changing his mind again! so if he asks me back out, should i take him back? i mean i really do love him but . . . will it work after
all this? please help!! thank you!
ANSWER: Probably not, to both of your questions. You probably should not take him back and probably it will not work after all this.
One cannot know what is in the mind, but one can make educated guesses based on probabilities and experience. He appears to be playing with
you – exercising control over you. Pay Back. His way of messing with your head because he believes you messed with his head.
Then again, if you love him, maybe you don’t mind the game play. His waffling decision-making may be more controlled and intentional
than you think. This may be a caution sign, or worse, a detour sign. You can keep trying, but be ready to ditch him quickly and expertly.
Wizard
November 28, 2007
Question: Thank you, wizard I wrote to you on 11/24. I get confused about something that you told me. He's not ready for a romantic
relationship. If he changes his mind he'll let me know. How can you be sure that he'll let me know? If I really stay in touch with him, will he
be bored or get sick of me? I'm not really sure, and it's true that he has not offered anything of value to me. I treat him really good. It seems
like he’s my real boyfriend, and I bet he'll never get a good treat from anyone else. I know because I took care of him from head to toe.
If he doesn't really want to commit or do something, I will have to move on. Again, for a year that we were dating, I never met his friends or
family except his parent who lives away from him and came to visit. That's it. Do you think he'll soon commit to me, though? I'm not so sure.
Help. I need a serious relationship with him but I don't know how to deal with him.
ANSWER: The wizard cannot guarantee his behavior. You, and everyone else, cannot know for sure. The wizard can say that if he values all
that you do and feels that he could lose you, then he will make an effort to keep you. Usually that means he will be better to you and want to
commit, because that will be the only way he can keep you.
He might get bored and sick of you. If he doesn’t really want to commit, yes, you should move on.
It all boils down to what he is thinking, and he is the only one that can know the answer to that. From your point of view, it all comes
down to how much patience you are willing or able to give in waiting for him to come around. If you keep your hopes up and have lots of patience,
you will give him lots of time.
Just DO NOT get hooked because he might NEVER commit.
Wizard
November 26, 2007
Question: My boyfriend is a one-of-a-kind guy. The only problem is that I don’t think he’s the one. Although I’ve been
with the same guy for a year and eight months, feeling and love have occurred. The problem is he has a temper when something does not go his way.
When he’s mad at me he will cuss me out in front of his family. He will hit me but never in the face, on the arm maybe. I buy him things
all the time. He might buy me something every now and then. He has no car and is living back and forth between his parents and grandparents with
his older brother. With the information I’ve given you, how would you break up with this guy, making him think he broke up with you.
ANSWER: You have good reason to dump him. No guy, whatever his history or background, and whatever grumblings he feels about life and
circumstances, is justified to cuss at and hit his girlfriend. Do not finagle things to make him think he broke up with you. That is, like in the
last question and answer, complicating a simple solution. Tell him you will no longer tolerate the cussing and hitting and you are stopping it
now. Then don’t go out with him any more.
Stay away from his temper. The way to do that is to stay away from him.
Wizard
November 26, 2007
Question: MY BOYFRIEND IS EVER CHANGING HIS MIND ABOUT OUR FUTURE. I'VE FELT INCREASINGLY THAT WE HAVE NO FUTURE TOGETHER AND IT NEEDS TO
END. ENQUIRING ON HOW TO DUMP HIM, AS HE'S ADAMANT HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME FOR LIFE AND WILL NEVER LEAVE ME, I READ AN ARTICLE ON HOW TO DUMP YOUR
GIRLFRIEND GENTLY. THE ADVICE GIVEN WAS TO MAKE HER DUMP YOU BY WANTING A DIFFERENT FUTURE TO WHAT SHE WANTS. THIS HAS ME THINKING. WHAT WOULD
YOU SUGGEST I DO?
ANSWER: Much too complicated. At worst it doesn’t work and makes things worse. At best you succeed dishonestly. It is all unnecessary
game-play.
Tell him directly that you don’t want to stay in the relationship long-term. Tell him you enjoyed your times together, but for you it
was a good dating relationship, and nothing more. He is not in your future as a lover or a husband. Simple, direct, and honest. It works and you
don’t have to think so much about it.
Wizard
November 25, 2007
Question: I’m not in love with him . . . never was. I thought the feelings and tinglies would come eventually, but they haven't, and I
can’t bring myself to tell this wonderful guy that I can’t stay with him. He’s just so sweet and corny and I need to tell him
how I have always had this irrepressible feeling it’s not going to work and that I could never love him. Help.
ANSWER: The sad task must be done, you know, or he’ll grow ever fonder and fall deeper in love. In his best interest, you need to tell
him. The hurt will only get worse if you don’t.
The question is not whether to do it, but how. As a start, avoid using the word “love.” You might soften the blow by avoiding
the sharp jabs he will feel hearing “I can never love you” or “I’m not in love.” Also avoid talking about feelings
and tinglies. He’ll miss those because he has felt them, even if you haven’t.
Focus on the subject of the conversation – that the relationship “won’t work” and it is better to end it now so you
both can move on without getting hurt. If he asks you why, tell him that you don’t have any specifics about why, it is just an unhappy
conclusion and that you don’t like telling him this but you know it is the right thing to do. It sounds vague in rationale but the ultimate
message is not vague. Be sure he understands you are sure about your decision.
This is a difficult task. You can shy away from it by simply stopping your communications with him. Making the effort to communicate with
him, you are showing respect for him and trying to be help him. This is heroic, nothing less. In the long run he will benefit from your
extraordinary concern for him in doing this. He may not see the benefit – but you will leave the relationship knowing in good conscience
that you did your best.
Wizard
November 24, 2007
Question: I'm dating with this guy for a year now. For the first couple of months, he took me out probably 2 or 3 times a week. We see each
other every day and I always call him every day as well. On the weekend, we normally spend time on Sunday for a couple hours, but on Saturdays he
has to clean his house and do his laundry. He's home by himself. No one helps him to do that stuff. He got out of a relationship just a couple
months before he met me. Still now, he always says that he's not ready to commit with anyone because he still has a bad taste in his mouth. I
don't know how long I have to wait for him to commit. I want to leave him but on the other hand I think he's not a bad person to hang out with.
Sometimes, I think that he's not in to me at all. He never gets me flowers, never said that he loves me, just said that when it is time he will
let me know. I don't understand what he's waiting for? Or he just wants to make sure that I'm that one for him or not? Should I just leave him
alone? HELP !! I love him.
ANSWER: Your love for him is inconsistent with your statement that you want to leave him. If he is not a bad person to hang out with, you
like him. If you can’t stand to be without him, you love him.
Either way, if he doesn’t want to commit to you, he is no romantic. Whether the cause is his doubts about you or his bad experience
before you, or both, he isn’t ready to have a romantic relationship with you. How long do you wait? That depends entirely on how long your
desire to be with him lasts. Some people have no patience for a guy who is not ready. Others will wait months, even years. It all depends on
you.
If your desire for him is real, stay in touch with him. Maybe go out here and there, now and then. But don’t let yourself get hooked.
He is not worth it right now. If he changes his mind, he will let you know if you stay in touch. Don’t let yourself commit to him. Just
stay in touch enough to let him know you are around when he changes his mind.
If you do want to leave him, as you said, do it. He has not offered anything of value to you. Stay in touch only if you want to
keep up a hope that his interest in you will improve.
Wizard
November 23, 2007
Question: I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I'm not sure if I'm in love with him any more and we fight a lot. He's a marijuana
dealer and him AND his friends are all potheads (and the sex is bad). I don't trust him with women because he once cheated on one of his
girlfriends (of 5 years!) and I know that these are all reasons to dump him, but I feel bad because both his mother and grandmother are dying of
cancer. We are not married and we don't have kids but we are engaged and we bought a house together. What should I do?
ANSWER: Your future happiness and security in a loving relationship are too important to sacrifice for these concerns.
If he were coming down with cancer, would that cause you to decide that you would not dump him? One should hope not because you are not his
mother, his guardian angel, his protector, his benefactor, his concubine. You are a human being of equal worth with whom he has had a romantic
interest. If he is not able to satisfy your needs in a romance, no legal or ethical obligation or duty exists that you must stay with him.
The same is true with other entanglements like owning property together and an engagement. All of it is irrelevant to your need and right to
a romantic partner in whom you have complete trust and respect, and whom you will love and desire for the rest of your living days.
He is not "the one" and you have no children. Dump him.
Wizard
November 23, 2007
Question: I have a situation that is driving me mad. I am going out with a guy I really like. He is 8 years older than I am (I am 27) and he
hasn't had a girlfriend since he was 21. For the first few months it was great - he bought me flowers and told me he loved me, though everything
we did seemed to fit in with his life. I live very close to him so it's easy to go to the pub or to his house for supper - but if we are going
out for a meal or to the cinema etc. it is only because I have suggested it. Basically, everything that happened seemed to be on his terms,
though I think we were both having a good time. After 3 months or so, he has become more and more withdrawn and hasn't contacted me now for 5
days. He does have a very demanding job (county sheriff), but I am so hurt and disappointed and confused and angry. How much effort is it to call
someone? So I need to dump him, I think, but my gut feeling is that if I do it, he will roll over and take it and that will be yet another thing
I have made the decision about. I don't know what to do. I can't continue like this as I feel I deserve so much more but I don't want to end it
for good as I would like him to take the initiative for once – even if it is to dump me! What the hell is going on, and what shall I do?
ANSWER: He hasn’t dated for fourteen years. He is rusty and without the experience and skills of the usual guy who dates 5 to 10
girls a year.
If all that happened was on his terms, why hesitate to make a decision on your terms? If he rolls over and takes it, so what? You do deserve
more and you do not need to wait for him to take initiative.
Wizard
November 22, 2007
Question: I need help. My boyfriend won’t leave me alone. First he loves me, then he dumps, then he goes and cheats on me.
ANSWER: A guy that loves you, dumps you, and then cheats on you, did not love you, and he is not a boyfriend. He’s a cheating guy who
loves only his own goickles.
Wizard
November 21, 2007
Question: The guy I'm seeing looked through my cell phone without me knowing. Should I dump him?
ANSWER: A little nosy of him, don’t you think?
Our earth is getting crowded with more and more people. We must learn (how foolish we are that we haven’t learn it yet) to live
together in peace. One of several essential components of peaceful living in a crowded place is respect for privacy.
Wizard
November 20, 2007
Question: There is a guy who is practically head-over-heels in love with me. I don't like him, so what should I do? I tried ignoring,
confronting, many other things. I don't want to hurt his feelings.
ANSWER: If he doesn’t get the message by ignoring, confronting, and many other things, you should re-think whether his feelings
matter.
If all the nice ways you can think of fail, try this not-so-nice but still easy and almost nice way: Imagine that you have another boyfriend
far away, and then sincerely tell him the following: “I’m so sorry, but you have to know I’ve got a boyfriend. He’s
really sweet and I love him so much, and I can’t do anything with you at all because he will feel very hurt if I do.”
When he asks “Who is he?” or “Where is he?” tell him “He lives a long distance away but he visits when he can
– and he always asks who is bothering me for a date. I am sure you don’t want me to tell him. If he knew about you, he’d be
very upset.”
(If that doesn’t work, sick your father on him!?!? A woman at any age can to that and succeed.)
Or be more direct. Tell him to stuff it. Put some emotion into it. Look hurt, mean, and angry.
If none of that works, tell all your friends about him. Get the message out. Ask them to tell him to leave you alone and to tell everyone
else the same thing. Make an anti “whatever his name is” campaign that is public for everyone to participate. He’ll bug
off.
Wizard
November 19, 2007
Question: I just dumped Willis. He had come back into my life in July, after 10 years, talking of how we were meant to be, I'm the love of
his life, etc, etc. But I told him I don't want any drug addicted or alcoholic boyfriends and tried to fend him off. Somehow, he moved in! I was
dumbfounded! I went to work the next day in a daze. He has been irritating me with his messiness and refusal to brush his teeth and wear
deodorant and using my bath towel; although it was nice that he put up a clothesline and did a couple manly things around the house. Anyway, I
just threw all his stuff outside. I feel great but a little sad. He wouldn't give me my house keys back but haha! I changed the locks! Did I do
the right thing? I think so. What does the Wizard think?
ANSWER: The wizard thinks that if you think it was right, it was right.
You are the master of your destiny. If you don’t like a guy, don’t date him, and surely do not let him live with you. Your
decision, whether to keep him or not, is your decision – and all that matters is that you made the decision feeling good about it.
Your feeling a little sad is normal. Remember, you are not his mother.
He didn’t meet your requirements. Be assured, you will meet a guy who does, and you won’t feel right kicking him out.
Wizard
November 18, 2007
Question: my boyfriend puts his friends before me and drinks a lot. i feel like i mean nothing to him. he is 20. he's irresponsible and
gives in to peer pressure and can’t resist temptation . iv'e known him since i was 14 and he hasn’t changed, only he doesn’t
cheat anymore, but now he doesn’t know right from wrong.
ANSWER: You know him well enough, then, to dump him.
Wizard
November 17, 2007
Question: hi ya, i have a boyfriend who’s busy with my mate. him and her are always having a laugh and leaving me out. they also talk
on the phone all night long and brag about their conversation at school in front of me. this girl has also admitted to fancying my boyfriend.
they have both been calling me names and i’ve had enough. please can you tell me if i should dump. him if so, how ??
ANSWER: Dump him, yes. Find a guy who is paying attention to you, not your mate! You deserve better. His odious behavior calls for a dump
well deserved.
No mystery about how. Just tell him he’s dumped. He deserves no more.
Wizard
November 17, 2007
Question: I have been with my boyfriend for three years and I really do love him so, so much, but he keeps texting other girls! I have
caught him doing this five times now and it’s breaking my heart!? The thing is, I know they’re not just old friends cause he meets
people at work and takes their numbers or gives his! Why ain’t I enough?
One question for the girls who text people’s boyfriends, why do you do it and how would you feel?
How many chances do I give him? I love, love him millions, and want to be with him forever, but I hate him because he keeps breaking my
heart!?
ANSWER: Surely, he prizes your company just as you do his. He has been with you for three years. If he had a serious interest in any one of
the girls who text him, or those he texts, he wouldn’t be committed to you at all.
Assuming you have told him of your insecurity about the texting, he should tone it down – a lot – if he is sensitive to your
concerns.
If any girls send their thoughts on this, they will be posted here.
Wizard
November 15, 2007
Question: I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. He is divorced and I have never been married, so naturally he has the fear of committed
relationships. We get along great and have fun with each other. He is otherwise a perfect gentleman, but refuses to let the relationship
progress. Not even to share keys (I dare not ask to move in). I almost never see his family or go anywhere with him and his friends. It took him
years to get his ex's things out of his house. I still have nothing at his house and he has nothing at mine. To see him when I want/need to see
him is virtually impossible (school, work, meeting etc). While I don't believe he is cheating, I'm just annoyed by the lack of attention when I
need it. But when he needs me I run to his rescue. It has started to make me bitter. After three years I am tired of the dating role. Should I
bounce?
ANSWER: Yes, probably you should. Sad as it is, he seems bruised and battered from his previous relationship. After three years he should
have recovered from most of it and should by now be a good companion to you. If he can’t be a full, loving human being to you by now, the
odds are against him being whole in his person for you ever.
For reasons we cannot know, he lives in the hurtful past and is unwilling or unable to enjoy the new beginnings that you offer. Sad for him,
and sad for you if you stay with him.
Wizard
November 14, 2007
Question: I've been with a man in a serious relationship for over a year and dated off and on before that for five. He is in school and
constantly flirts with classmates. He also has had them to his house to do projects for school. What should I do with this guy? I feel like he is
trying to get me jealous all the time.
ANSWER: If, in over a year and a half, he flirts with classmates, but nonetheless has been faithful to you, then you are the apple of his
eye, even if he sees a few cherries here and there. So long as he doesn’t go after the cherries, you are his first and only interest.
You say that your relationship has been serious for one year. If he feels the same way, he should be able to express his love for you
sufficiently to quell the notion that he has an interest in anyone else. His flirting should not be “serious” flirting. In other
words, the flirting that you witness is more in your mind than in his reality.
If you are right and his flirting is frequent, then it is time for you to have a serious conversation with him about how serious he thinks
his relationship with you might be. Hopefully, he is true blue and you are unnecessarily worried.
Wizard
November 13, 2007
[To the guy who asked about calling his ex, see the Wizard's answer at Dumpagirl.com.]
November 13, 2007
Question: I always end with wrong guys and it really felt so bad. I want to hurt them so they can feel what it feels to be hurt badly. Can
you give me some tips? Please.
ANSWER: Take this wizard’s wisdom as fundamental advice: Negativity is unnecessary and counterproductive. If you want revenge, the
best revenge is to live well. No other method will give you more satisfaction.
Get a new boyfriend and be happy. Make your best effort to make the right choices. One day you will date the boy who will be nice to you
– now and hereafter. Be ready for him and enjoy your good find when you find him. Then the other guys who hurt you will see you happy and,
indeed, see your boyfriend happy.
Wizard
November 12, 2007
Question: I've been 'dating' this guy for almost 6 months regularly. He's twice my age, which makes him 46, in the middle/end of a bitter
divorce involving custody, and got out of jail 8 months ago as well. He just drew me in making me feel so special, telling me & others that
I'm his girlfriend. We spent LOTS of time together talking and we totally understand each other honestly. The gist of it is, at first I didn't
want a boyfriend because I'm trying to move & eventually he said he didn't want any attachments to anyone because of his personal situations.
It may be that things moved way too fast in so many ways, at first, and he kept calling and wanting me to come over, but, now I have feelings for
him. He knows this and told me before that he feels very similar, but he doesn't want anything now. We've tried just being friends, but I've
noticed that he treats me disrespectfully now & just wants me to come over for more or less a booty call. I know we're not in a
'relationship' but I don't know if . . . . (missing text).
ANSWER: He was honest with you that he wanted no attachments. He likes booty call, but he doesn’t like attachments.
If a guy turns disrespectful, he is not right for you. You need to know no more.
Wizard
November 11, 2007
Question: My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months. About 5 months into the relationship, I found out that he had still been
hanging out with this ex. When I confronted him about this, he tried to make it seem like they had been split for a long time, when in reality
she had dumped him back in November (4 months before we started dating). I told him I wasn't comfortable with them hanging out and that I would
like him to stop. To the best of my knowledge he did, but as a month or so went by, I kept checking his phone (yes, sketchy and slightly devious
on my part) and saw that they were still consistently talking. We then had another conversation in which I told him that I really needed him to
stop talking to her completely and I would stop talking to my ex as well. He agreed. That was until 1 month later I found yet another phone
call/text message. I confronted him about it one night by asking him if he had talked to her (three times). He lied (three times). I told him
that I had to check but I love him and I don't want to leave him. What should I do?? Help me!
ANSWER: What they talk about should matter. If he is flirting with her, he’s over the line. If he is helping her with some problem she
has because she still respects his opinion, he’s well within the bounds of decency.
Tell him you love him and that you do not want to compete with his ex for his attention. Beyond that, you might have to trust him that he
isn’t crossing the line. If his communication with her persists, and you can’t stand it any longer, you’ll change your opinion
that you don’t want to leave him.
Wizard
November 10, 2007
Question: I said to a boy that I might consider taking it slow and go out with him, but now I changed my mind and I didn't even fancy him.
Should I tell him I only said maybe because I felt sorry for him? But I don’t want to hurt him.
ANSWER: Do not tell him you feel sorry for him. When a girl rejects a guy, the last thing he needs is pity.
Tell him you changed your mind because you are interested in someone else. Keep it as simple as that. A guy’s world is a competitive
world. From a young age, he must learn to lose as well as he learns to win. A guy who lost stands tall for trying. A guy who feels pitied is
haunted by ugly, despairing thoughts of inadequacy.
Wizard
November 9, 2007
Question: I really like this guy, but I have a crush on a different boy in my math class. He is funny and is sweet, and he likes me and I
like him. But I already have boyfriend and I don’t know if I should dump my current boyfriend to the boy in my math class.
ANSWER: You can let your current boyfriend down lightly and pick up the guy in the math class, so long as he is funnier and sweeter than
your current boyfriend, and so long as your current boyfriend doesn’t have other qualities that you also like that are better than the boy
in math class.
Here is the math of this problem. Subtract and add if the value of what you add is greater than the value of what you subtract.
Wizard
November 9, 2007
Question: He basically stopped calling after 2 years of being together, started a relationship with someone, and then called me a month and
a half later to ask me back because she left (silly me, I accepted). Now she’s pregnant and he’s happy about it. I can’t be
with someone who thinks the way he does, or someone who treated me like a piece of s***. I deserve better, right? ALL OF SOMEONE’S
ATTENTION.
ANSWER: Yes, you deserve all of someone’s attention – and this guy isn’t the one, apparently.
Wizard
November 7, 2007
Question: he is never on time and tried to dump me and he never turns up or rings. should i dump him?
ANSWER: yes.
Wizard
November 5, 2007
Question: there is this guy i have been completely in love with since i was 15. i am now 20. i think he’s in love with me too but
i’m not sure. we have never been in a serious relationship with each other. We’ve always been good friends and had great sex. now
that i’m older i want commitment though, and he doesn’t. but he doesn’t want me to be with anyone else either. i don’t
know what to do. i really love him and i think he loves me, but i got to grow up. i cant keep doing what we’re doing. please help.
ANSWER: If he doesn’t want you to be with anyone else, he should commit himself to you, as you want. He has had it both ways for five
years – that might explain why he thinks it can continue. It shouldn’t though. If you want commitment from him, he should give it if
he still wants you. If he won’t, don’t you be committed to him.
Wizard
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