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November 29, 2005
Question: Well my boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months. He's 16 and I'm 15. For the first 3 months we saw each other every single day. Now we don’t see each other as much. We fight so much. Over things that don't matter. I get jealous of the girls he talks to and that sets me off. And he ignores me on the phone when he’s playing stupid video games. He never does anything romantic with me or never tries to make me feel special. I've told him how I feel a few times but nothing has changed. I'm not sure what to do, a few of my friend have told me to dump him but I have strong feelings for him still.
ANSWER: He is ready to be dumped, even if you are not ready to dump him. These things you describe are common every-day problems that occur in relationships, and they together are a true sign that a dump is warranted.
You describe the behaviors so well that you are likely to have a good sense of where he is at in his thinking, but you are not clear about your own thinking. You must realize that his inability to change after you have told him how you feel is a warning sign bigger than the building you live in. Your friends are on target.
Wizard
November 29, 2005
Question: So what do I do if I've been dating someone for almost 5 months and he seems to always make me angry for almost no reason at all?
ANSWER: A clear and present sign of an on-coming dump. To be angry for no reason suggests he irritates you when you are with him, and that makes you prone to feel anger.
Wizard
November 27, 2005
Question: i have a boyfriend that i feel very uncomfortable around. i find myself avoiding him and i know that he really likes me and i dont know what to do.
ANSWER: Dump him. That means telling him that he is dumped. You can do it nicely or not so nicely, but it should be done if you are uncomfortable with him.
Maybe you should have our people send him a Dump Certificate.
Wizard
November 27, 2005
Question: My boyfriend is really shy and everybody says i should dump him what do i do?
ANSWER: You should dump him only if you feel you should dump him. Maybe you should find what better reasons your friends might have. If all they’ve got for a reason to dump him is shyness, maybe they’re jealous!
Wizard
November 26, 2005
Question: i'm datin a guy that wants me to stop talkin to all guys.. even on the computer but yet it's ok for him to talk to any1? should i cont.. this...
ANSWER: No.
Wizard
November 24, 2005
Question: My boyfriend and I have been going out now for a year. I don't know whether or not I should dump him because on the bus I obviously sit beside him and he sits beside the window and I sit near the isle and sometimes I lean on him and I'm pretty sure he doesn't mind cuz he pulls me back on to him so I do lean on him. But when I do lean on him he talks to his friends Claude and Jack (they are pervs) but Chris mouths the words he is saying and when I ask him what him, Claude and Jack are talking about he starts laughing hysterically like he’s been mocking me behind my back. And then I really feel like dumping him but I don't want to cuz I really love him and I know he loves me. What should I do? Please give me some advice!!!!!
ANSWER: When you are alone with him, tell him how you feel when he acts like that with his friends. If he cares for you, he should be sensitive to your feelings and respond appropriately. Later, if it happens again, you should get up and leave.
If that doesn’t change the behavior, he is putting his good times with friends ahead of your feelings, and he should be dumped. You might talk to him a second, even a third time, but your tolerance of this behavior should be limited. You should be prepared to dump him and look for a more sensitive guy.
Wizard
November 23, 2005
Question: Well I have been dating this guy for about 11 months now, and I have found myself in a confusing situation. See when I started dating him I was in gr.8 (13) and he was 19, now I have just started gr.9 and he is 20! I mean he’s one of the sweetest guys in the world, but I’m curious as to what i want. Like I mean come on, I’m only in gr. 9. I couldn't be in love with him, right?
I just I want to break up with him and check out my options. But it's like when I break up with him (I have once before) he just acts the same and then I go back to him because its like I forgot we were ever even broken up. Then there’s this other guy and he's nice to me as well and only in gr. 10, and he’s been pouring his heart out to me and it came out of nowhere. So it’s like I feel like I haven’t had a chance to get to know him yet. But I think I made a bad mistake. I told him I liked him but that I needed time. Then I got a note from this other guy and it's the nicest most beautiful thing I have ever read and I would consider giving him [a call].
ANSWER: Dump the older guy. He’ll be looking for commitment that you cannot give at your age – or if you think you can and try, you will lose out on many years of good times and fun.
Listen: Dating at your age is for fun. Have fun with guys nearer to your age. You will avoid man-related hang-ups (boysterisms) only older women should have to tolerate. Read some of the other questions asked of the wizard and you’ll see.
Wizard
November 23, 2005
Question: i have this boyfriend that thought i was cheating on him. i was really upset that he i thought i would do it. then i found out he ACTUALLY cheated on me with some slut that ive never met. but ive heard stories about her. he says he didnt do it but her and her friend are both telling me he did. i dont know what to do. its been a week since we've had this discussion and he seems to be over it but im not!! i dont know what to do. he seems like the flirting type too so he could have done it. i really need your help wizard!!!
ANSWER: How much do you like the guy? If suspicion is enough for you to dump him, you don’t like him enough and you really should dump him. If it is not enough, you must accept the fact that all you have is suspicion, and don’t dump him.
In your next discussion, make it crystal clear that you do not tolerate cheating. He should know the rules and abide by them, or be dumped.
Beware, many guys are “flirting types.” And many self-respecting girls do not like guys they date to flirt. Make sure, if you will not tolerate flirting either, to make that clear also.
Wizard
November 23, 2005
Question: i have a boyfriend that abuses me but he said he’d kill me if i ran or called the cops
ANSWER: Run and call a woman’s shelter in your area. If you are younger and living at home, tell your parents and make sure they call the right people.
No behavior like this is to be tolerated under any circumstance. You must stand up for yourself or you will never get out of the danger you are in.
Wizard
November 23, 2005
Question: hey, wiz
i wanna see other people cos our relationship is jus borin!
I know you'll probably say just dump him, cos after all, you want my 6 bucks! but i dunno...
ANSWER: It doesn’t cost 6 bucks for the wizard’s advice! It’s the most valuable thing in the world if you need advice, but it’s FREE!
And, yes, you need to dump him.
If you want the certificate sent to him, that’s 6 bucks.
Wizard
November 23, 2005
Question: weve been going out for 9 months are every time we talk we just end up fighting everything he says annoys me what do i do
NSWER: Dump him, of course.
November 18, 2005
Question: I've only been going out with this guy for a few days. Already I'm sick of it. At first I thought I really like him. But I think the only reasons I agreed to go out were to get this other guy off my back and because I would have felt guilty otherwise. The guy is nice and one of my friends, but I feel like it's more of an obligation. I don't feel the same around him. It's awkward and uncomfortable. I hate dumping guys though, so I don't know what to do!
HELP ME!
ANSWER: Dumping him is the right thing to do. Heavy regrets here that the new “friendly” certificate is not yet available from this site. That would be a good, comfortable way to do it.
You should simply call him, tell him you “enjoy his company as a friend, letting it get beyond that makes you uncomfortable” and you “hope he understands.” If he is worth his salt as a friend, he will appreciate the problem and take it well.
Wizard
November 18, 2005
Question: i really like a boy but he doesnt even know that i exist!! HELP?
ANSWER: Go say “Hello.”
Wizard
November 16, 2005
Question: I really like a guy but I've promised not to date a guy for longer than two months. He's had a month and a half. I think I love him but I don't know what to do.
ANSWER: Who did you make that promise to? Very unfair to you, don’t you think?
You should label that promise illegal, against public policy, inequitable, made under duress, one-sided, and just plain dumb. Actually, it is against private policy – yours!
Date this guy for as long as you like each other.
Wizard
November 16, 2005
Question: I had what I thought was just a hook up with this guy I met in the bar one night. We exchanged phone numbers far before anything ever happened that night. The next day I sent him a txt message and it turned out I had the wrong #. I didn't know if this was intentional but I blew it off as "ah, oh well"
A day later I get a txt message from him asking what I was doing that night and asking why I hadn't called him. I told him I was going out with my girlfriends and he was more than welcome to join if he wished. He ended up going out to a different bar with his friends but continuously texted me throughout the evening asking me to join him at the bar he was at. Even going as far as trying to make arrangements to get me to where he was at. When I finally found a ride it was 1am and he was on his way home. He made plans with me for the following day and fulfilled them.
At the end of our date that day he expressed interest in doing something later in the week.
Each time we have communicated either via text or phone he says he will call me later but then never does. Help me out here.
ANSWER: He is an “ah, oh well” guy.
Wizard
November 15, 2005
Question: I met a great guy that's never been married and he has no kids. We have been dating off and on for over 10 months. We talk to each other 2-3 times a day. We see each other twice a week. When I am with him he asks me if I'm with someone else and appears to be very insecure about me dating other men. I told him that I am not committed to
him and if I choose to date someone I will. He goes out of town and doesn't even invite me. I know he is visiting other women, but I don't question him - I'll tell him that I know he may be visiting another woman. He is sometimes cheap when it comes to me. Other than that when we spend time alone at his home, we cook together, watch television, and enjoy each other’s conversation. We go out - but not enough. Just recently he is planning on going out of town for the Holidays. He didn't include me at all. He wants to be my lover, friend, and sometimes committed - I want more - Should I dump him.
ANSWER: Who first wanted commitment, you or the guy? When you told him that you are not committed to him, did he want to be committed to you? And when you learn that he doesn’t include you in the Holidays, do you want him to be committed to you?
It may be too late. The holidays are fun times for companionship with special people. If you’re not in that category, somebody else probably is. In which case, a dump is in order. If you are still talking 2-3 times a day, you should talk. Make sure the subject is your relationship, and be ready to confess your true feelings, and see what he does.
The wizard regrets travel away and not answering you until 12-1-2005.
Good luck.
Wizard
November 12, 2005
Question: hey.. i am going out with this guy and i dont think he likes me anymore and every time we go out he always want to ivet [?] my best friend i think he likes her and she likes him and i like her boy friend what should i do
ANSWER: Why ask? Date her boyfriend.
Wizard
November 12, 2005
Question: I’m going to keep it basic. He’s mind controlling, controls me. He throws things at me. Hits me. Calls me names. Diggs at my confidence. Confuses me. Blames me when he’s angry. Why cant i brake free, how does he still make me love him? Why cant i leave? Help me!!
ANSWER: Keeping it basic, you shouldn’t be confused. Dump him.
The bigger and more complicated question is: “Why can’t I leave?” If you feel tied to this guy, or somehow still in love so much that you cannot break away, you may need professional counseling, and that cannot be obtained in a public forum like this site.
Emotional tie-ups like yours are self-defeating, self-demeaning, even self-destructive.
You must confidently perceive your self worth and act on it. Be assured, you deserve better, much better.
Wizard
November 9, 2005
Question: A good friend of mine introduced me to a guy she had been friends with since grade school. He and I really hit it off, and began seeing each other on a regular basis. After a few weeks, when I think everything is going well, my girlfriend begins to tell me things that he has said about me behind my back, thinking that she wouldn't turn around and tell me. Well she does tell me. She tells me he's said that I'm a "quality girl" and loves hanging out with me, but that my body might be a little to "thick" for him. I was enraged. Even after these comments, he acts completely interested to my face. If he's saying one thing to our mutual friend, but acting totally different towards me, should I just drop him and move on? Or should I confront him about his comments?
ANSWER: The wizard perceives no value in confronting him about his comments.
If your friend is not telling you true, she’s doing both you and the boyfriend a horrible disservice. If her information is true, he might not be the “quality guy” for you.
Know this: He finds you attractive or he would not still be seeing you and acting completely interested.
The wizard thinks your boyfriend needs some maturity to understand himself better. His shallow mind thinks your body is too “thick” for him; his deeper mind thinks you are terrific. His true and better self has not matured enough to overcome his shallow and meaner self.
But what makes him throw digs at you behind your back? A weird need to pump his chest like an ape to another female when you are out of sight (overactive male goickles?). He can’t admit to your friend that she helped him find someone who is one hundred percent. He feels a need to reveal an imperfection, a scar, a failing. By doing this, however, he demonstrates his own imperfection.
If you are unable to tolerate this primitive and selfish behavior, you are well within reasonable limits to dump him. He will mature, and when he is older and remembers you, he will regret his chest pumping. This kind of maturity, by the way, can take years, even decades for some men who suffer from overactive goickles.
If you ignore your friend’s information and stick with him, he could surprise you by maturing quickly, and might be a quality guy.
Wizard
November 8, 2005
Question: he’s a great guy, but i have three kids, 2 jobs and go to school full time. He wants a lot of my time and makes me feel a little smothered.
ANSWER: He might not deserve a dump if you enjoy his company. Explain your commitments. If he is half a sensible human being, he will be able to work his dating needs around your commitments. If he gets wacky and says he is more important than your commitments, then it is time to dump him.
Wizard
November 7, 2005
Question: He hits me and is always calling me names and treating me like s____. i don’t know how to get rid of him
ANSWER: Avoid him like the plague. If you can’t avoid him, get help. If he hits you, call the police. You must not tolerate the treatment you get. No ticket is worth that price of admission. You deserve better. DUMP him swiftly and avoid him at all costs.
Let the wizard send to him a dump certificate for free. On November 12, 2005, send his name with his address, but tell the wizard he is the dumpee, and the wizard will do it for you for free. Send this information to wizard@dumpaguy.com Do not use the order form – this is a free service on that one day.
Wizard
November 6, 2005
Question: i am gonna dump my boyfriend but i dont know how 2 do it without hurting him. plz tell me how and help me.
ANSWER: Sometimes you cannot dump your boyfriend without hurt feelings. You cannot stop or dull his feelings. But you can help him by doing two things. Follow rule number one: 1) Be definite about the dump. Do not give him a mixed message. The sooner he is sure he’s been dumped, the sooner he will move on to another date, and the sooner he will recover. And then 2) you can give him compliments to soften the blow. You don’t have to be severe in telling him he’s dumped. But you must nevertheless follow rule number one.
Wizard
November 6, 2005
Question: i don't know how it happened but i found myself dating this guy. and i don't really like him like that but i am afraid to break up with him because he is a big guy and he does a lot of stupid things. i am afraid if i dump him he will get all pissed and get in a fight or get drunk or worse. i know if i hurt him he will be really mean and get everyone to hate me but i can't be with some one like that. he makes me fell really small and stupid. i just hope you can help me out. how should i break up with him.
ANSWER: First of all, you must break up with him, and the sooner the better.
Get support from family and friends. Let them know your problem. If communicating directly with him is difficult, at least talk to him on the telephone and explain that you need to have more time for yourself. And then don’t go on any more dates. He should get the message fairly quickly. Know your friends and other resources if any trouble develops. If he gets to be a real problem, you should know where to go for help, like counselors and maybe the police.
Do not forgive or tolerate any physical intimidation or assault of any kind! No person deserves that conduct, earns that conduct, or must accept that conduct, in any dating relationship, and that includes the last hurrah (the inevitable DUMP) in the dating relationship!
Wizard
November 2, 2005
Question: I HAVE BEEN LIVING WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR TWO YEARS, MAJORITY OF THE TIME IT HAS BEEN GOOD, ALTHOUGH A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO, I MOVED OUT DUE TO WORK. I HAVE HARDLY MISSED HIM SINCE IVE BEEN AWAY, BUT I KNOW HE HAS MISSED ME TERRIBLY. HE IS SO SWEET TO ME AND ALTHOUGH I LOVE HIM, I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
ANSWER: The Wizard accepts the caps as a SCREAM.
Are you schizophrenic? Or do you have two personalities? Or are you just confused?
The wizard can help with number three. If you are confused, you do not love him – not really. Dump him and move on to another guy who is also sweet to you but whom you know you love.
Wizard
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